Are you dreaming? Keep dr_Eaming...

I’ve always been here, dreaming.

I’ve always been here. I may be keeping silent, but I’m here. I’ve never left. Think about it for a moment and you’ll realise it’s true. You can try to ignore me but I’ll still be here. You can choose to ask me to leave but you’ve never done that.

I’m here to remind you of things you want to forget. Am I evil for doing so? Do you fear me?

I’m here to remind you that not all people are the same. I’m here to show you that some people still chase after dreams. I’m here to contradict your comfortable pessimistic idea that all fairytales go bad.

The human creature is unique in its huge capability of adapting to its environment (or well… adapting the environment to itself). And here you are compromising with the world, setting your dreams aside as childish and “being down to earth”. I call that giving up.

Fairytales can be made real. It’s just damn hard and you need to try, put some effort instead of settling.

I’ll always be here to remind you to keep dreaming…

Planning ahead vs. Adventure

Planning ahead is nice. You get to dream, explore your wishes, set your target and plan for it. You try to cover every aspect of your plan, make sure it’s sound and secure from as many mishaps as possible. Then you struggle to achieve it, you put all your effort into it, knowing that it will lead you to your dream, to your goal.

Things could go wrong with your plan. Unexpected situations, random events, mishaps, interventions, environmental factors and so on. That’s where stress kicks in. The fear that you are diverting too much from the plan, that you’re veering and will miss your goal and your dream will collapse, either partially or entirely.

And then you have this other guy. He doesn’t care about a plan. Nor does he have a strict goal. His goal is to have an adventure, to have fun. Alright he does have some goal; he does want to get somewhere eventually, but he only wants this as much as you want to have fun while achieving your strict goal. You care about having fun, but not as much as you care about achieving your plan.

And there you see him, diving into life completely clueless, planless. And he deals with situations as they come. Sometimes he fails. You know, situations, random events, mishaps, interventions, environmental factors and so on. However, he doesn’t stress about it! He, in a way, AIMS for it. Mishaps are desirable, in the sense that they produce adventure and thus fun. He may never reach his goal, but he will definately have a story to tell.

How can one maintain the balance? The goal vs. the path. Our parents always portrayed dedication and hard work towards a goal as virtues. You see, though, that, in this context, the opposite of hard work and dedication isn’t laziness, but rather adventure. This is not just about having fun. This is about learning to survive, to deal with situations as they come, to minimize the stress when the plan is not working out, to enjoy the path while focusing on achieving the goal. On the other hand, a person without a goal, without dreams, without an aim in life? It’s just an empty shell, a clueless entity that only knows how to consume and serves no purpose in life, not even for itself.

Dream, aim, plan, focus and dedicate yourself… but don’t forget to let go sometimes and live the adventure. Do not underestimate nor think of it as a vice that you must avoid. Live your life and aim for your dreams. Don’t live your dreams and aim for a life.

Chillin’… thinking… at peace

Who would have thought peace can be found in the simplest situations. I was just lying there staring at the white ceiling, Cure playing on the background and thinking. As key parts of my life where flashing right there in front of me, I was contemplating my situation…

Who I was, what I have become, what I aim for, what I want…

I’ve been struggling all my life. I’m struggling to change, to become better. I’m struggling to reach a point where I can look at myself in the mirror and exclaim “well done!”. Maybe I’ll never reach that point. Maybe I’m a dreaming perfectionist. The thing is I feel like I have accomplished things in my life that are worth being proud of. Why not everything else as well?

I think, however, that my struggle has not been about change itself, but rather fear of change. I fear that I’ll make the wrong choice. I fear that I’ll dissapoint the people around me (sometimes more than I fear of dissapointing myself). I fear that I won’t like what I will become, that it is not what I truly seek.

Noone can give me answers, that I know. But lying there staring blankly, without one concern in the world for those brief five minutes… it felt nice. It felt at peace… Maybe it’s about time I loosen my grip and let myself go with the flow. Let’s see where it leads. How bad can it really be?