"Please refrain from discussing feelings in the vicinity of the meat."
Röyksopp - “Monument" (The Inevitable End Version)
This has been on repeat for days now. Awesome remix of an awesome song with an awesome video that makes me miss awesome live gigs (although I’ve never seen Röyksopp live and I really want to).
Lyrics (slightly rearranged from original):
Make a space - for my body.
Dig a hole - push the sides apart.
This is what - I’m controlling.
It’s a moat - the inside that I carve.
This will be my monument.
This will be a beacon when I’m gone, gone, gone.
When I’m gone, gone, gone.
When I’m gone.
So that when the moment comes,
I can say I did it all with love, love, love.
All with love, love, love.
All with love.
Make a space […]
This will be my monument […]
Make a cast - of my body.
Pull back out - so that I can see.
Let go of - how you knew me.
Let go of - what I used to be.
So that when the moment comes […]
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
- Mark Twain
I need to say goodbye to someone I care about. Someone who is still here. So I’m saying it to you. You were good to me Kevin, and sometimes when we were together, I remembered who I used to be before everything changed. But I was pretending. Pretending as if I hadn’t lost everything. I want to believe it can all go back to the way it was. I want to believe that I’m not surrounded by the abandoned ruin of a dead civilization. I want to believe it’s still possible to get close to someone, but it’s easier not to. It’s easier because I’m a coward, and I couldn’t take the pain. Not again. I know that’s not fair, Kevin. You’ve lost so much, too, and you’re strong. You’re still here, but I can’t be, not anymore. I tried to get better, Kevin. I didn’t want to feel this way, so I took a shortcut, but it led me right back home. And do you know what I found when I got there? I found them, Kevin, right where I left them. Right where they left me. It took me three years to accept the truth, but now I know there’s no going back, no fixing it. I’m beyond repair. Maybe we’re all beyond repair. I can’t go on the way I’m living, but I don’t have the power to die. But I have to move towards something, anything. I’m not sure where I’m going, just away, away from all this. I think about a place where nobody will know what happened to me, but then I worry I’ll forget them. I don’t ever want to forget them. I can’t. They were my family. I think I loved you Kevin. Maybe you loved me to. I wish I could say this to you instead of writing it. I wish I could see you one last time to thank you and wish you well and tell you how much you mean to me. But I can’t. Like I said, I’m a coward. So, wish me luck. I think I’m going to need it.
- Nora Durst
The Leftovers s01e10
All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
- Samuel Beckett - “Worstward Ho”